The next round of dialogue for the Nazi Zombies mode in Call of Duty: WaW is for Nikolai. I love this character, because he is so unreasonably and stereotypically the drunken russian. There’s no better character to write for, really. Actually…now that I think about it, all of these characters are unreasonable stereotypes of the cultures they represent (omfg).
Here’s the bio for Nikolai from the Treyarch website:
Nikolai Belinski (RUS)
Stalin himself cannot stare Nikolai in the eye, no one can. For in his eyes you see the soul of a man burning with a hatred of all things living. His closet is full of skeletons, many of them with the flesh still attached. Before the war, Nikolai quickly made his way up through the party ranks by killing the next man in line, and by marrying politically. His aspirations all came crashing down after his fifth wife mysteriously died while cleaning Nikolai’s axe with her neck. Little did he know that she had been sleeping with a high ranking party official on the side. After her tragic demise, Nikolai’s reputation spread quickly through the party, and it wasn’t long before Stalin himself had heard about the psychopathic politician who killed anything that came within 5 feet of him. As soon as the war started, Nikolai was dropped at the front line and forgotten about, where he wallowed in self pity and Vodka for several years.
With many weapons in his arsenal, not least of which is his breath, Nikolai Belinski can look death in the eye and say “I know you”.
Player Gets a Crappy Gun from the Wall or Box
- Is this a gun or a toy?
- The stink of my shit would do more damage!
- Fucking weapons. Do you see why I drink?
- Aag! (exasperated) more running and less killing with this bullshit!
- (burp)bullshit this is (mumble)…
Player Gets a Machine Gun from the Wall or Box
- Comrades, get behind me,(fart) but don’t breathe in.
- This thing is noisier than my third wife!
- I will cut them in two!
- What is…Oh it’s a machine gun! Hah!
- Good. No more of this aiming shit.
- Four and a half vodka bottles in length. This will do.
- Now I can relax. Who’s thirsty?!
Player Gets a Ray Gun from the box
- Small. Hope I don’t lose this thing.
- Green crazy shit makes me dizzy.
- Morons made gun out of Bolshevik toilet parts.
- Embarrassing, but deadly.
- I dreamt about this in a coma I had recently.
Player Gets a Flamethrower from the Box
- I should spike my vodka with this.
- Good, I am lazy. Enough precision.
- Huddle together demons! I will warm you up!
- What if I burn myself?
- This stream does not gurgle Hellpigs!
- Ready for a russian bath?! Hahahahah!
Player Gets a Shotgun from the Wall or Box
- Deadpigs, lets have shot together. HAH!
- Lets see if I remember how to reload this shit.
- Yeesss. A lazy weapon. Point and shit!
- Come closer dogs! I won’t miss that way…
- Pieces fly, I reload. Repetitive? Who cares!?
- Two handed weapon…Someone carry my bottle!
Here’s some of the actual dialogue from Nikolai: